 |
Updated February 6, 2008 |
URL is http://www.parlorcity.com/secop/fathers.html |
|||
Farewell to Pappy
Let me talk a little about my Pappy whom we lost on April 23, 1996. Pappy was 90 years old. He wanted to leave this world for a better one. He said he had lived too long.
I took this photo in Beasleys, a restaurant in Sarasota. Pappy and I went there to eat ribs. I had just met him that week for the first time, September of 1994 (long story.) So I knew him for only 19 months, but it meant a lot to me to know him. (Yes, I had been adopted away from my roots.)
I don't know how to feel, because I know it made him happy to leave here, but my siblings and I feel like a big part of us is gone. Antidepressants had not helped him. Should we have done something else? His doctor didn't think we should.
Is it all right to fade away when you are 89? Had he run his course? Is the goal of life to just keep on living? He had never been sick. He had a heart bypass operation once. And one time his truck was hit by a train and so he lost his legs, but that wasn't an illness. It didn't slow him down for long. He was a young bachelor and he got on with his life.
Do we just run out of coping at the end of life? Is this just in the United States, or is it world-wide? What is ahead for any of us as we age? I believe that Eastern religions accept death as an inevitable stage of life. Will we in the United States come to that point? Thank you for listening.
Another picture of Pappy.
Here's another reason why I am interested in Erin's House and similar subjects.
A Friend's Father
Recently a friend wrote this to me about losing her father.
"My father died while I was completing my master's degree. He was the bulwark of the family and I was in complete shock for almost two years. When I got my final examination in the mail, I was dismayed to discover that a large portion of it dealt with death counseling. My immediate reaction was to send it back and tell them I simply could NOT do it! It was only 2 months after my father's dying.
"But then, I screwed up my courage and set to work. With all the research, as well as Kubler-Ross, who was the "main person" regarding death at the time, I was able to go through the exam and to work through several of my areas of grief in the doing.
"I KNOW my father would have wanted that, and so I did it. It was a great deal of help to me. No one can tell you "I know just how you feel", for no one CAN know. But it is certainly helpful to have compassionate friends who will listen to you and are not afraid to talk about the death and the departed.
I know that now...but when you are raised in this strange Death-denying society you are taught "Do not say anything...you don't want them to feel bad."
"When one of my friends was dying of lung cancer, I sat with her and we talked about work and things in general. All she wanted of me was that and to make her a living will. I had a form which I had sent for, and so I went and got it duplicated, and we filled it out together and she was at peace. Simple things."
I am hoping that this friend will have her own website sometime, after she retires. We could all learn from her, and be better people for reading her.
Index of my grief pages Main" Grief Page
Erin's House
Books and Bookstores
page is lost. Just use Google.
A Memorial to Mark and Scott
My father and others You are here
My Grandma Lived
In Gooligulch
review and art is lost
Meditations
Index of Entire Site
I found that this beautiful background from Simply Backgrounds is made by the gracious Linda from Designer Original Graphics. She was kind enought to let me know where I had found it, since I had lost all memory of my source. Her letter came at a very troubled time in my life, and I will always remember her good cheer.
Many of my other graphics are from Sissi and some are from the Graphx Factory. I truly get confused about where I found some of them. Now when I download I put the graphic into an exclusive directory with the artist's name! Then when I want to use the artwork, I can't find the URL. I need help.
Page made by Sandra Weinhardt, email secop@parlorcity.com